angeli's Site

Someone once said, "The three most difficult things for a human being are not physical feats or intellectual achievements. They are, first, returning love for hate; second, including the excluded; third, admitting that you are wrong."

Is it possible for the rose to say, "I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad"? Or is it possible for the lamp to say, "I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people"? Or can a tree say, "I'll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad"? These are images of what love is about.

for hyper impatient people like me :P

--

 

Waiting is a mystery—a natural sacrament of life. There is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

Everyday is filled with those little moments of waiting—testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in our self-control—pasensya na lang. We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend, concerts and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations, and bus depots are temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one—or wait in sadness to say goodbye and to give that last wave of hand. We wait for birthdays and vacations; we wait for Christmas. We wait for spring to come or autumn—for the rains to begin or stop.

And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next step. We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success, and recognition. We wait to grow up—to reach the stage where we make our own decision.

We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is part of the tapestry of living—the fabric in which the threads are woven that tell the story of our lives.

Yet the current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait. “Grab all the gusto you can get.” So reads one of America’s great beer advertisements—Get it now. Instant pleasure—instant transcendence. Don’t wait for anything. Life is short—eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you’ll die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom—premarital sex and extramarital affairs—they warn against attachment and commitment, against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us, against vows and promises, against duty and responsibility, against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and to wait.

This may be the correct prescription for pleasure—but even that is fleeting and doubtful. What was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure? “Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated.” Now if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh, souls as well as heart, we have to learn to love someone else other than ourselves.

For most of all waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery brushing by our face everyday like stray wind or a leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has ever loved knows how much waiting goes into it, how much waiting is important for love to grow, to flourish through a lifetime.

Why is this so? Why can’t we have love right now—two years, three years, five years—and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit, the seed to flower, carbon to change into a diamond.

There is no simple answer, no more than there is to life’s demands: having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have already made other commitments, or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives, having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your path. Goodbyes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.

All we know is that growth—the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we love them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting—of being present without making demands or asking rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. It tests the depth and sincerity of our love. But there is life in the gift we give.

So lovers wait for each other until they can see things the same way, or let each other freely see things in quite different ways. What do we lose when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance and intimacy of the way they were? They have to wait—in silence—but still be present to each other until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory, and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.

What do we lose when we refuse to wait? When we try to find short cuts through life, when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of ever truly loving or being loved. Think of all the great love stories of history and literature. Isn’t it of their very essence that they are filled with the strange but common mystery—that waiting is part of the substance, the basic fabric—against which the story of that true love is written?

How can we ever find either life or love if we are too impatient to wait for it?

My company went to the CPDRC (Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center) during the second day of our Sales Kickoff, and (warning, bad pun coming) it was an arresting experince! (Haha sabi sa inyo really bad pun eh)


I watched the You Tube video online before, but it's different seeing these guys perform live in person - ibang level! We all thought that we'd be in for another day of running around Cebu doing different physical activities like the day before, but we were in for an experience not quite like any other. I usually make it a point to watch a play or a show whenever I travel (ala Mamma Mia in Shanghai, NANTA in Seoul), and this really a great surprise from the organizers for our Cebu trip - no otap-factory visits or anything like that for us! :P


The warden, Byron Garcia, who conceptualized and implemented the whole dancing routine said that DPC was the first corporate visitor of the penitentiary, and he told us how he came up with the project, having no experience in prison management when his sister (Cebu Governor Gwen Garcia) placed him in charge of the CPDRC. His vision was that he wanted the prisoners to do something instead of just laying idly in the prison or engaging in gang violence/drug-dealing, which was what was happening before he came along. He said he thought about dancing when he saw the prisoners marching. It's a really terrific and brilliant idea, given that Filipinos are super talented and loveeee to perform, and they now spend 4 hours a day practicing their routines for their guests. :)


We went to the viewing deck after the warden's introduction, and I thought the inmates were just going to perform three or four songs, but it turned out to be a concert that lasted more than an hour! From our vantage point,  you could see and sense the raw energy and joy radiating from the inmates as they danced nonstop to oldie songs and the newer pop hits. And I really enjoyed how the gay inmates wore girl costumes and bigay na bigay talaga, I love love love their energy and passion in performing, and the ones who give it their all really get noticed by the audience.


We were also lucky that we were allowed to go down and take pictures with the inmates after their performance. I didn't feel scared at all, and I felt kind of starstruck asking for a photo with the guy from Thriller (he was convicted for drug dealing pala), and  asking a few questions about how life is in prison. Some seemed genuinely happy and at peace to serve their sentences here, but of course freedom is also something that they want and eventually aspire for.


I have a lot of corny and sentimental realizations after this trip, but I'll spare you the gory details. I guess my key take out point lang is that life is a gift, and that life can be really, really wonderful and amazing - if you choose it to be. Every moment is a moment of choice :)

God bless everyone! :)

Hi Everyone!

We'd like to invite you to the next WhyNot? Forum this
coming April 26, 2pm to 6pm in Tropezz Bar and
Restaurant in Greenbelt 3. 

Our lineup of Dynamic Filipino speakers :

Third Way Senator, Kiko Pangilinan
Reform Guru, Mario Taguiwalo of InciteGov
Truth Warrior Glenda Gloria, Head of ANC
Performance Artist Gabe Mercado, Spit
Modern Heroes Dakila, dakila.org.ph
Young Public Servants, Ching Jorge and Jaime
Garchitorena

Please send me an email if you are going so
I can include you on the guest list and so you can
avail of the early bird rate

Hope you can make it. See you there!

--

Think New Thoughts. Share Big Dreams. Do Brave Things.
The WhyNot?Forum : Inspiring Filipino Ingenuity

http://www.whynotforum.com

http://angelilovestheuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/01/newsflash-csp-9-application-deadline.html

For everyone out there who's interested :)

Please comment at the site below as well!

http://angelilovestheuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/01/how-to-win-free-trip-international.html

I got an Elf Yourself card from my Swedish friend Per last year, but was too lazy to make one of my own since the site wasn't as developed last year as this year.


Then my Atsi sent her four lovely siblings this card:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1719968172




We don't do choreographed dances or dress up as elves, so it was HILARIOUS just seeing the four of us going for it, no-holds-barred and feel na feel, hahaha :) Too bad that you can only put in four faces in a screen, 7 would be best ;)

And on a personal note, (and I'm not kidding),  around 20 people have told me in one way or another, that I look like an elf - it all started in Taiwan 1999 with Vicky Panopio. I don't know if it's a compliment or insult, but it's always better than a dwarf or gnome, right? :) Just think Liv Tyler from LOTR hehehe.

So to all my friends, this is me, maybe in my future halloween costume, wishing you the Season's Best! :)

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1722710355


Love,
Angeli still in human form

May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the lo ve that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun. It is there for each and every one of you.

I've been meaning to write about this for the longest time, but of course, the 'practicalities' of daily life always seem to get in the way - score another point for my excellent time management skills hehe (will be reassessing this with regina and tamara on saturday, but that's another story).

So what's a Chinese Family Association (CFA)?



Basically, it's a club where Chinese guys (not so many women) having one thing in common come together and meet to promote their organization and/or advocacy, build schools or other charitable works, and my super favorite... give money once a year to children of members who can show a report card with honors hehe!

Though sadly, I have long passed the age level and grade requirement for getting my annual fix of 500-2,500 pesos (My dad calls it a small "pangbawi" or return for the membership dues and donations you pay to the org), we still go to these events for all sorts of reasons.


My dad has and is a member of all sorts of associations - Chinese business clubs, hardware associations, etc., but of course, family associations are his favorite!

Last weekend was especially a busy time for us. On Saturday night, my dad was inaugurated as the president of the reunified Philippine Ko Family Association




Like government, schools, companies and every other organization except the Hannah Montana Fan Club, politics always rears its ugly head one way or another, so it took a while before getting everyone to join together and hold hands, and they celebrated it with an Officer's Inauguration Dinner at the Pan Pacific (if you've ever been to any family association party in Ongpin, the Pan Pacific is a way modern innovation in the field of CFA parties and functions)


The day after, my uncle was inaugurated as the new president of the Ko Hometown Family Association. He succeeded Jan's dad as president, who was president after my dad served for 13 years (eat your heart out, GMA). It was my uncle's first term for our hometown organization, so he really went all out! May raffle pa! (Dad, Alan and Fernandina won angpaos)


Some observations:

1) They always serve the same food, regardless of event or venue, slightly tweaking some stuff for the budget - cold cuts, brocolli or cabbage with mushrooms, starchy soup, abalone scallops, breaded fried shrimp/taro with mayonnaise, fried pigeon with chicharon, steamed lapu-lapu, fried crab (the oldest person always gets the fattiest part), birthday noodles, buchi/mango sago/fresh fruits.


2) Kids are getting smarter nowadays - they bring their psp's, ipod's, etc to entertain themselves. I'm still old-fashioned - I bring books but have taken the sophisticated leap from Archie Comics to Haruki Murakami and just taking photos of everyone around the table.




It's been one of the rituals that you breed intense dislike for as a kid, then eventually grow to tolerate and once-in-a-while appreciate. Up to now, I dislike the lunches most since they start at 11 and end at 3:30! WAWOT!!! (What a waste of time!) On the "let's look at the bright side of life", I'm a sucker for compliments and it doesn't hurt thatyou only see most of these people at the events maybe 3-4x a year, and they say "di ya twa han lo!! hwanan suwee ah!" (you've grown up... you're so beautiful!!) :P


But in the end, whether you like it or not, you're there not for yourself, but to support your loved ones - congrats to my dad, I'm sure he's gonna do a kickass job!

got this from Li'En - he's been telling me to visit it for a few days now!

I've been going to Makati/"South" quite often recently for school and socializing (ang layoooo!!) that I haven't been hanging around in Greenhills lately.



It's my barkada's usual tambayan, where we usually see 4 or 5 people from the ICA/Xavier crowd on any weekend night. I was supposed to go out with some friends in Greenhills tonight, but our plans didn't push through for one reason or the other. 

This brought about the dilemma - either to 1) stay at home, munch on junkfood and watch reruns of Top Model, or 2) finally have the guts to push through with the Kuya Germs Project.

Anyone born before 1985 would still probably be familiar with Pilita Corales (aka Jukebox Queen of the Phils) - she's a great singer and the mother of Jackie Lou Blanco.  She used to have a bar in Theater Mall called Kookabar, but they revamped it after a few months and now it's called Pilita's.


I often see German Moreno (aka Kuya Germs) and Pilita with their friends just chilling outside the restaurant on weeknights, and have always wanted to take a photo with them, but usually chickened out whenever I saw them!

But not tonight! :)

One of my promises to myself after I left my job is that I would be more adventurous and try new things, especially after meeting so many cool and inspirational people at school (Sir Jay and Mark, kayo 'to!)

I recruited super monofin man Ryan to be my partner-in-crime/photographer for the night, after convincing him that my plan (unbeknownst to him then) was super mababaw, fun, and legal.

We walked around Greenhills a couple of times strategizing how we were going to go about it.


My initial plan was just to approach them outside and ask for a picture then make a quick exit, but Ryan said diyahe daw, and that we should just go inside the bar and hang out for a while before making "the approach", and he was right :P

Our timing was perfect, since they just started to perform their numbers, and we asked for photos afterwards!



So... mission accomplished! :D

I had a great time hanging out and listening to live music from seasoned and talented performers. It was a nice change from the usual smoke-filled, noisy bars which our generation is more used to, and I really wouldn't mind going back again in the future just to relax and chill.

But for now, am thinking of my next super mababaw, fun, legal project - any suggestions? :)

got this list from shopcrazy... let the shopping begin! 55 days till Christmas!

http://www.shopcrazy.com.ph/2007/10/02/october-2007-bazaar-list/

TIENDESITAS BAZAAR
Tiendesitas
September 25-October 10 (Tuesday-Wednesday)

LIKHA NG CENTRAL LUZON
Megatrade Hall 2, SM Megamall
October 3-7 (Wednesday-Sunday)

NEGROS TRADE FAIR
Rockwell Tent
October 3-8 (Wednesday-Monday)

MARPÉ HEALTH & BEAUTY EXPO
Megatrade Hall 1, SM Megamall
October 5-7 (Friday-Sunday)

WEEKEND NIGHT BAZAAR
Cubao Expo
October 6, 13, 20, 27 (Saturdays)
4:00 pm to 12:00 mn

VENTURE 7
The Intercontinental Hotel
October 7 (Sunday)
9:00 am to 7:00 pm

BAHANDI REGION 8 TRADE FAIR
Megatrade Hall 3, SM Megamall
October 10-14 (Wednesday-Sunday)

CONSUMER TRADE FAIR
Megatrade Hall 2, SM Megamall
October 11-14 (Thursday-Sunday)

CUENCA BAZAAR
Covered Basketball Court, Cuenca Community Center, Tanauan Street, Ayala Alabang Village, Muntinlupa City
October 13-14 (Saturday-Sunday)
9:00 am to 7:00 pm
* Stall 126 will be having a big sale on imported apparel (ex. Miss Sixty) from Korea, Hong Kong, and Taiwan

GRAND BAZAAR ’07 @ THE BIG TENT
Isidora Hills, Holy Spirit Drive, Don Antonio, Quezon City
October 13-14, 27-28 (Saturday-Sunday)
10:00 am to 9:00 pm

NBC TENT BAZAAR with KARL EDWARD
The Fort
October 13-14, 27-28 (Saturday-Sunday)
10:00 am to 8:00 pm

THE BIG TENT
Don Antonio Heights, Commonwealth
October 13-14 (Saturday-Sunday)
9:00 am to 7:00 pm

CATHOLIC WOMEN’S CHARITY
The Intercontinental Hotel
October 14, 21 (Sundays)
9:00 am to 7:00 pm

MANILA F.A.M.E. 41ST GIFTS & HOUSEWARES FAIR
World Trade Center, Roxas Boulevard, Pasay City
October 17-20 (Wednesday-Saturday)

ALL THE GOOD STUFF
Holiday Inn Galleria
October 20 (Saturday)
10:00 am to 9:00 pm

FILNEGOSYO PART 2
Megatrade Hall 2, SM Megamall
October 23-28 (Tuesday-Sunday)

BEAUTY & FITNESS WORLD / SPA & WELLNESS PHILIPPINES 2007
World Trade Center, Roxas Boulevard, Pasay City
October 25-27 (Thursday-Saturday)

SM APPLIANCE FIESTA
Megatrade Hall 3, SM Megamall
October 26-November 18 (Friday-Sunday)

INNER WHEEL
The New World Hotel, Makati
October 28 (Sunday)
9:00 am to 7:00 pm

FRIENDS OF CCP
The Intercontinental Hotel
October 28 (Sunday)
9:00 am to 7:00 pm

I haven't been updating my blog much, been pretty busy lately, but it's a good kind of busy...
Just came back from Hong Kong and am catching up on a lot of stuff, but really have to tell everyone about The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari!!!

It's been one month + one week since I left the big blue company, and I've been doing things that I've "never had the time/patience/effort" to do, meeting and being inspired by smart innovative, and basically super galing people, and learning a lot about myself too.



A couple of weeks ago, I had dinner with GA, one of my classmates from my short-lived career as an ME student in Ateneo. He read the article I wrote in Youngblood, and told me that my story was similar to one of his friends -  he worked in HSBC for two years, left his promising career (and of course a megabucks sweldo) there to take the leap and jump into an entirely new field that he was interested and passionate about.

So the three of us ended up having dinner and we talked for hours, a lively conversation of dreams, ideas, and passions. At the end of the night, Ryan gave me this book - he bought out the entire stock of a Powerbooks branch after reading it, and has been giving it out to people like me.

I like this The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - title palang bentang-benta nako. I haven't finished it yet, despite it being relatively short. It's one of the few books that I actually stop midway a page or chapter and reflect how it applies to my life! Intense diba? And I even missed my stop at the MTR station in Causeway Bay and had to double back since I was so absorbed and into what I was reading!



So if you're looking for some perspective on the ultimate "What Should I Do With My Life?" question or a different reading flavor (I guess to erase the nasty taste of the last Shopaholic book - super dissapointing!), this book is for you!

What are you waiting for? Bili na - or if you're barat, borrow it from me after I'm done haha :P

Stories of Personal Excellence

Martin, Von, and Anton: Stories of personal excellence

(Excerpts from Dr. Queena N. Lee-Chua's Ateneo Grade School commencement speech, March 22, 2007)

...Service to God and country starts with personal excellence.

Develop your potential. Be the best you can be---in home and in school. And this task is not easy.

When I was your age, I never liked to listen to sermons, as I called them. Instead, I preferred to follow the examples of inspiring people. So today, instead of giving you a sermon, I will tell you stories of three students whom I have had the privilege to guide. These students are not old. Most of you are probably 13 to 14 years old now---the students I will talk about are around five to seven years older than you right now. They are still in college, but they have already demonstrated what it means to do their best.

Rule Number 1: Go beyond your comfort zone

Rule Number One: Go beyond your comfort zone. Life is difficult, and we cannot always do only what we want all the time. Now, how many of you, as early as grade school, might have told yourself something like this, "I am bad in math, so in college, I will take the course with the fewest math subjects!" Your parents might even be accomplices- --I hope no parent here says, "Nagmana ang anak ko sa akin. Talagang bobo ako sa math."

Let me tell you a secret: in the Ateneo University now, many of the courses are interdisciplinary- --and it is difficult to escape math. So what do you do? Venture outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself. And when I say challenge, I do not necessarily mean physical challenges, such as beating your swimming record. Challenge yourself mentally and emotionally as well.

Take Martin Villanueva, a sophomore in my creative writing class two years ago. Martin is majoring in Fine Arts. He loves to write stories and poetry, and his dream is to be a writer. In fact, all the students in my writing class felt that their strength lay in the humanities, social science, or management. There was no science major.

So what did I do? On the first day of class, I told my students that aside from the usual writing exercises (doing a character sketch, a movie review, a descriptive scene), I would require them to do a science essay. And not just any science essay ---it had to make the topic interesting to the layperson. There were some groans in the class. Oh and by the way, it had to be 10 to 25 pages long, double-spaced. You could hear the gasps. Someone asked why. "Because the page requirement is the same as that of the Palanca Awards."

Palanca Awards?

Palanca Awards? Some students shook their heads. A science essay from a non-science writer for the Palanca Awards? They were only undergraduates. They were also into literature, not science. Some students had articles published in school magazines, but no one had an article published nationally. The Palanca Awards? You must be kidding.

I wasn't kidding. I lectured on techniques (metaphor, points of view, dialogue, etc.). Then I gave the students time to choose a topic they were interested in. For one month, I guided them in doing research (not just on the Internet, but in journals and conducting interviews of experts as well). I remember one student who chose to do a paper on insulin resistance. She attempted to read a medical paper many times, but could not understand the jargon. She was about to give up when the class encouraged her to go on.

Then the students did the first draft, and everyone had to critique each other's work. They had to strengthen the strengths and delete the weaknesses. Then they had to revise their draft. Writing---at least good writing---is not an instant process.

The result? In February last year, the School of Science and Engineering hosted a competition on creative science writing. All of my students submitted their essays, and all the winners came from my class. A sweep! After their victory, I challenged my class to submit their works to the Palanca Awards.

I did not expect any of them to listen to me. But Martin Villanueva took the challenge to heart. He revised his science essay (on cancer and chemotherapy) one more time, and submitted it. I am so proud to tell you now that Martin won Third Place in the English Essay Category of the 2006 Palanca Awards---he won the first time he entered the competition, besting many more seasoned writers, including perhaps some of his professors.

After his victory, Martin shifted out from Fiction Writing and decided to make his mark in Non-Fiction (including Science) Writing. This coming school year, he will be the Associate Editor of the Ateneo newsmagazine Katipunan. How did Martin achieve all this? He ventured out of his comfort zone.

Rule Number 2: No excuses allowed

Rule Number Two: No excuses allowed. One thing that irritates me is when my students who don't do well give a lot of excuses. "I flunked the quiz because my tutor taught me the wrong thing." Or "I could not submit the paper because the printer broke down." Or "I cannot concentrate because the weather is too hot."

For the past two years, I headed a team of Ateneo parents and volunteers on a study of public school achievers. Some of you students and parents might have heard of this. We came up with five best practices on how these families achieve, but what I want to stress here now is that successful students do not give excuses. When they do not do well on a subject, they look for the reason and try their best to overcome their difficulties. When they do well, they are motivated to replicate their success.

Let me tell you about Von Sinence, my student two years ago in freshman algebra. When Von was five years old, their family business went bankrupt, and the family had to go south to Lanao del Norte to live with a friend of Von's father.

Von told me, "First grade was difficult. My parents woke up early to cook foods for the canteen, and boil two pouches of pancit canton for my daily breakfast. Since I did not have extra uniforms, sometimes, I would go school in 'casual' clothes, and pay the one-peso fine. Even if the school was the one nearest our house, I still had to walk a kilometer to reach it. Often, I could not afford to buy supplies. There was also no assurance of a baon every day. Since I was new in town, I did not have friends. To top it off, all my classmates were Muslim and only spoke Maranao, which I did not understand."

Imagine this five-year-old boy, lonely, hungry and scared. But Von did not succumb to excuses. With the help of his family, Von did his best. A few years later, he graduated valedictorian from Baloi Central Elementary School .

At that time, Von's sister Angie was living in Marikina. She urged the parents to let Von come live with her because they all thought that Von would get a better education in Metro Manila.

So Von left his parents---a difficult task, especially leaving his mother, whom he was very attached to. But Von uprooted himself again.

Von tried to enroll at the nearby Parang High School, but because he was a transferee, the school initially refused to accept him. He stayed home for the first four days of high school, but with the help of a neighbor who knew an administrator, Von finally got in.

Von said, "I faced another set of problems. Despite my good grade school performance, I was not confident of my abilities. I believed that Manila was different. I thought that it was a harder world. During the first week, not enough chairs were available in the classroom, so I had to sit on the floor. I also did not participate much in class because everyone spoke English, which I found difficult. Being in the star section terrified me."

Von jokingly told me about another problem. His sister Angie is married to a Japanese, who would periodically send over cans of tuna for food. According to Von, their shelves are all filled with tuna. Day in, day out. Tuna. But fish is brain food---and Von is proof of that.

Again, Von did not give excuses. He did not give up. He dutifully ate his tuna, and tried his best in all aspects---academica lly, artistically, socially. He did jingles and rap. He represented his school in math and science contests. He ran for the student council in his first year, and to his shock, he got elected. He thought no one knew who he was. Four years later, Von graduated valedictorian.

Parang High School

In my college freshman algebra class, Von got perfect in the first exam. He got perfect again in the second exam. At first I did not know where Parang High School was. Von made a joke: "Ma'am, yes, sabi nga nila Parang High School lang kami, hindi totoong paaralan."

Whether it was parang high school or not, Von got the highest in my class, better than the students from exclusive private or Filipino-Chinese schools. Von, a Communications Technology major, is a consistent Dean's Lister. For the past two years, Von has also been serving as a role model for other public high school students.

Von says, "What drives me to put my best foot forward is having a purpose in life. I have become a consistent honors student not so much for myself, but rather for my family. I love to see the smiles on the faces of my family, especially my mother. I want to fulfill their expectations— that I become the future breadwinner. Moreover, I want to use my capabilities to help other people. Right now, I am giving back to Pathways by becoming a mentor to public high school students, and I enjoy doing so."

How did Von achieve? For Von, poverty is no excuse. Cultural differences, financial
difficulties, hardships--- all of these are no excuse. Von has high expectations for himself, and he continues to do everything he can to fulfill them.

Rule Number 3: Never give up

Rule Number Three: Never give up. Edison famously said, "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Perspire all you have to, but never lose heart. Go the distance.

I can give you many examples of these in my classes, but since, Martin and Von did not come from the Ateneo High School, I think that it's about time that I tell you about a true Blue Eagle---someone like many of you, who have been here since preschool.

Usually, before I enter a class, I look at the past performance of my students to give me an idea of how to handle them. For instance, if my students performed well in the past, then I know I can push them more. So before I entered my Calculus II class in two years ago, I looked at the grades of my students got in the previous schoolyear. To my dismay, I discovered that the average of the class (Management Engineering, one of the toughest courses in the college) was a C. Several students got Ds.

When I set foot in their class, I did not smile. Immediately, I told the students, "I saw your grades last year. What happened?" Some of them looked down at their shoes, others looked sheepish. Anton Andres raised his hand. "Ma'am, we couldn't' really understand what our teacher was doing."

This was not the answer I wanted. "I happen to know your previous teacher, and I don't think the fault lies with him. You are ME, and you know that you need a C average in your major subjects to remain in your course. Math happens to be a major subject, and Calculus II is of course more complex than Calculus I."

The class was listening soberly. I went on, "Do you remember limits, derivatives, continuity and integrals from last year? Well, we will do them again, but this time, we won't do them on the plane. We will do them in space. Instead of 2-D, now it's 3-D."

The students could not help themselves. You should hear the groans coming from all corners of the class. Anton raised his hand again. "Ma'am, we don't want to flunk. So what do you suggest we do?"

"Review your notes from last year. Study hard. In fact, study harder than you did last year. Since the topics now are harder, you need more time to understand them. If you spent one hour a day studying last year and got a D, you need to spend two hours a day now to get the same grade. If you want a C, you need to study a lot more."

Thankfully, the class buckled down to work. Many students started to see me regularly during consultation hours. But let me focus on Anton. To tell you the truth (and I have Anton's permission to tell you this), Anton was one of the students who was in danger---he got a D in Calculus I. I was worried about him.

But Anton did not give up. Here is what he did: he would answer almost every single question in the book (even those which were not assigned). Then he would give me his answer sheets and I would go through them one by one. If he did not understand something, he would consult me at once.

To top it off, Anton rearranged his schedule so that he could listen to my lectures twice. How? Aside from the ME class, I was also handling another Calculus II class for computer science majors---right before the ME class. Anton would sit in my computer science class and take notes, and then he would sit in again in the second class, with his ME batchmates. He did this for one whole semester, and sometimes, some of his ME classmates would do the same thing, especially before an exam.

Anton's diligence paid off. In fact, in the middle of the semester, I had to stop Anton from giving out the solutions during the second class. He was so eager to show what he had learned. His confidence in his math ability grew, and of course, so did his grades. In the first test, Anton got a B (the highest he ever got in math in college). He was ecstatic, and so was I. In the second (and tougher) exam, he got another B. In the tough departmental midterms, not only did he get a high B, but he also was in the top 10 list in my class!

Anton never let up. In college math, students were allowed to cancel their lowest exam. Many of my students would slack off in one topic, do badly in one particular test, and cancel it. I did not like this practice, but I could not prevent it. I was happy to note that Anton studied for every single test, and did not do badly in any exam. He was consistent.

When the semester was about to end, I asked Anton to go in front of the class and tell them the secret of his success. Anton's simple reply: "I studied like I never studied before. Wala na akong mga gimik." The class applauded.

Most dramatic

Anton's experience was the most dramatic, but the class on the whole did well. I remember one event in particular. Once, 15 minutes before the class was supposed to start, there came a sudden strong downpour. Our classroom was in the Science Education Complex, and the students would be coming from another building. Unfortunately, there was no covered walkway in between the buildings, so they would get drenched.

The rain continued to fall. Many of my math colleagues, whose classrooms were in the same building, decided to call off classes, because they did not expect their students to arrive. I was about to do so, but Anton (remember Anton had been sitting in during the previous computer science class, so he was already with me)---Anton told me, "Ma'am, don't call off the class. They will all come."

Skeptical, I waited in the classroom. And Anton was right. They all came---dripping, soaking wet, breathless. After 15 minutes, I had a complete class of students. I learned later that I was the only one to hold class in the building at that time.

Funny thing

Now for a funny thing. The students were wet, and before long, some started sneezing. Oh no! I asked that all the windows and doors be closed, and that the fans be turned off. Then I made a hasty decision. I told my students, "I hope I do not get thrown out of Ateneo for this, but boys, instead of shivering in your wet shirts, you can just take them off, if you want. And pat each other dry. Boy to boy only, please."

Many of the boys did so, to the delight (and whistles) from the girls. Of course one boy had to ask, "Ma'am, can the girls do the same?" I had to draw the line on this.

Things got a bit funnier. When some volunteers went to the board to show their solutions, the class started laughing. You see, some of the boys were thinner, some were bigger---different body types were in full view. But remarkably, after a while, everyone settled to work. The lesson proceeded as usual, the laughter ceased, and eventually, even I forgot that half of my class did not have a shirt on. When the class did a test the week after, all of them passed. I was not surprised.

How did Anton achieve? He did not give up. He did not let a lousy grade stop him from doing better the next time around. Anton and his classmates will graduate in a few days. With hard work and perseverance, Anton managed to remain in the course he wanted. He will graduate as a bonafide Management Engineering major.

Conclusion

Martin Villanueva, Von Sinence, Anton Andres. They come from different backgrounds, they have various interests, they have different strengths. But in their own ways, they have striven to be the best they can be. They have tried to achieve their potential, and in doing so, they are on their way to serving God and others.

Venture beyond your comfort zone. Set high expectations. Never make excuses. Do not lose heart. Persevere. Go the distance.

Our country needs citizens who can confront problems squarely and deal with them courageously. God calls on each of us to do so. Our country needs people who are excellent in mind, will, and heart. In the parable of the talents, and indeed, in His own life, Jesus calls us to glorify the Father by being the best we can be. Our country needs to hope again---and you, my dear graduates, are our best hope.

This was me 3 years ago with my friend Per. We were exchange students in HKBU and joined a midnight climb of Phoenix Mountain (935 m) at Lantau Island. We climbed from 12mn Friday night and went back down after watching a beautiful Saturday sunrise.

I couldn't move the entire weekend, muscles that I didn't even know I had were aching and sore.  Per was in his gimik attire that night (with our other friend Stephanie) and partied the night away at Lan Kwai Fong.


I swore that I would never mountain climb again.


This was me last Saturday, after reaching the peak of Mount Kinabalu, Sabah at 4095.2 meters - four times taller than that wimpy Phoenix "mountain" :P


In the famous words of Miriam Defensor, "I lied." Wahaha.

Some nerdy info:  I thought Mount Kinabalu was the highest peak in South East Asia, but someone overestimated it by 6 meters, so it turns out it's the 3rd highest.

What made me decide to try mountain climbing again? I booked my ticket as early as February, but was close to chickening out from fear and laziness, plus it was also half-month of Ghost Month in the Chinese calendar... I don't usually believe in those superstitions, but my spider senses were telling me to watch out!

But I went anyway, and I'm glad I did! :)

We were 10 people in our group:
It was me, 8 Malaysians and a Singaporean, all having worked at Maersk one time or another.
This is us plus our guides Ginik and George.



Ginik was my guide for most of the trip and also my porter.


He gets 50RM per trip, and has been working as a guide for over 20 years. His other job is a farmer, and he has a wife and three children. Overall, he's climbed the mountain around 2,000 times. Nice guy, but doesn't smile so much. He charged me 60RM to carry my big backpack up and down the mountain - the best 60RM I've ever spent.

Meet Esther, she was the mastermind and "momma" for the trip:


She's a native Sabahan who's a certified rescue diver, and has climbed the mountain five times before our trip -her goal is to climb it 10 times! Pictured above is her and her shoe, which she masterfully bandaged on her own - a very talented lady ;) She also met Regine Velasquez and Martin Nievera before, but doesn't know what to do with their CD's :P


This is Eng Soon, my co-non-Malaysian in the trip.


He's the Customer Service Manager of Maersk Singapore, and it was his second time to climb the mountain. At 53, he was the inspiration of our group - he climbed to the cold peak in shorts!!!! And he knows how to make a mean scrambled egg.

Here are the other friends I've also made from the trip, really fun people to hang out and bitch about mountain climbing with:




There were a lot of times when I was thinking "what the hell was I thinking signing up for this??" But I made it through thanks to the following:

Little Old Lady.



I've heard that Sabah natives climb the mountain for kicks, but Little Old Lady takes the cake. I was huffing and panting up the mountain, and this lady carrying a huge pack zooms by me, taking sweeping leaps forward. She was out of my sight in a few seconds. I'm no Loyola Mountaineer, but I sure wouldn't want to be the 23 year old who got her ass totally kicked by an ama. Partially-kicked is fine with me.



My beloved Chocnut.



Me and my South African buddy Ken Baker go crazy over Chocnut, and have yet to debate which one we would be giving up first - vodka sessions or Chocnut binges. All the blogs and other sites I've read recommended about climbing  bringing "trail mix, raisins or peanuts" but nothing gives you that sugar buzz than this favorite Pinoy treat! :P

Laban Rata Resthouse

Laban Rata was the resthouse and restaurant where all climbers rest up before the early morning climb to the summit.

It was enough motivation to go up the mountain and go back down asap for real food after tasting my "chicken noodle soup". In fairness, it was warm. That's all the positive thinking I can attribute to it... :P


Food and ridiculous mark-up issues aside, we also had a good view at the balcony from Laban Rata, which encouraged us to go even higher the following day!



THE PEAK

Day 1 had 7 hours of climbing, and getting up at 1am the following morning to climb for 3.5 hours wasn't exactly a joy either, but the view on top was worth it.

We hiked, climbed and scaled a really steep slope and saw a couple of mountain rats, but the thrill of making it to the peak and seeing the sun rise was priceless....


And I love clouds... it was an amazing feeling to actually be above them! (aside from being in an airplane, ngerk!)



So we took a long time climbing down, enjoying the view, getting sunburnt, with our knees practically getting busted from all the impact (again, native Sabahans asking "are you ok?", as they glide gracefully down the mountain - where are their knee joints??)




Going down the mountain, I told Sonia I would never do it again, but you know my track record with "never again" (see above) :P

Had a lot of fun during this trip - I honestly still can't believe we all made it to the top and got our colored certificates (only black and white copies for those who didn't make it... boohoo).


I'm far from being the most athletic person ever, and I guess it made making the climb and coming back home in one piece even more special to me.

But aside from that, I also met a lot of fantastic people along the way,and I hope to see them again someday, whether it's for another shot at Mount KK, going to a pub in KL, or scuba diving in Cebu :)


more photos of my trip here

Today was my first day of being unemployed, so I deliberately filled up my schedule - I didn't want to be an unproductive, couch potato-ing bum munching on guacamole Pringles (yum!).

Presenting:

5:30am - walked around Greenhills with mom and Auntie Veron (pseudo-training for hiking up Mt. Kota Kinabalu next week w/ Nico + 8 other Malaysians); racked up 9,300 steps in pedometer

7:15 - morning Mass at Santuario with Atsi; lots of mature ladies with Bibles.

8:30 - usual breakfast special - 3 slices of wheat bread, glops of peanut butter, 2 bananas and a glass of milk

8:32 - flips open the Inquirer looking for something interesting to read

8:33 -  jumps from seat and skips around the house screaming like a madwoman after seeing  name and article in Editorial page's Youngblood column

8:35 - catches breath and calls mom and dad :)

9:00 - finally finishes breakfast; takes a shower while doing the Ellen de Generes dance in-between rinses

9:30 -meets with Prof Andrew Soh in ADMU and asked loads CAKQ - Classic Angeli Kulit Questions:  What is your dream? Why did you decide to teach? Are you happy???

10:15 -  sign-up for Mandarin class at Chinese department; gets offer to teach Business Chinese in ADMU; politely listens but knows that 3rd graders in Jubilee speaks better Mandarin than me, then regrets current status as  a half-banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside).




11:00 - hugs Den like crazy, downs sugar high-inducing green tea at Caf Up while reminiscing about the good old days with my uber talented friend! :)

11:58 - got reduced photocopies of article at Copylandia to send to relatives; best 8 php I've ever spent, galing ni Kuya mag cut and crop!

12:45 - downed unlimited servings of tortilla chips and chicken fajitas with Lor at Chili's Tomas. FYI, Kozui is closed on Tuesdays!

15:05 - received mysterious text. Thought it was a scam, pero hindi pala - legit job offer from someone who read my article! :o

17:30 - potential student's mom calls to ask if I could mentor her child

18:00 - consults with Sir Jay (toned down version of CAKQ) and confirms attendance to the VIE program at AIM this Sept 3; really hope it works out...

19:30 - coffee at Bo's with invisible friend Drew;  I'm not the only person in the world who doesn't like whipped cream - it doesn't even have a taste.

21:45 - realizes I should have gone to the bathroom before leaving, thankfully malapit na sa bahay haha :P

22:30 - calls Inca (galing, saw her at Glorietta earlier! )on cell and yammers on and on about What-Should-I-Do-with-My-Life-and-I-may-be-subconsciously-screwing-myself-for-
saying-yes-to-almost-everything +standard MISE gossip that I missed! :)

23:01 - too tired to sleep and blogs instead; no more 5 am wake-up calls tom!







 

Pangbawi to the drama-ness of my previous blog entry ;)

--

Snow White bought a new camera.
She happily took pictures of the dwarves and the forest, and had her first roll of film developed.
A few days later, she went to pick up the finished photos.
"I'm sorry," the clerk told her, "they aren't ready yet."
Disappointed, Snow White started to cry.
"Don't worry," the clerk said, "someday your prints will come."

--

Don't tell me hindi kayo natawa dun :P

I quit my job last Friday, and I'm really sorry to my friends who have to find out through this entry rather than personally...

I still feel kind of weird that one month from now, I won't be taking that ear-popping elevator ride to the 51st floor every morning or chatting with my friends from IEL, CS or Sales about wok and non-work stuff, but I've thought about making this choice for months already, and finally mustered up the courage to just follow my gut and make the crazy and terrifying dive to the unknown.

The decision was never easy to make - I like my work at Maersk, and all the opportunities it has given and holds for me. By far, it was a great job - the salary wasn't particularly spectacular, and there were days when everything just went wrong, but the people were terrific, and the career plan was nothing to sneeze at.

I knew that quitting MISE and Maersk would mean giving up living in Davao, expatriation, my trips to Copenhagen, and sadly, leaving a lot of MISE friends and the huge possibility of never seeing them again. I must have made Globe a very happy telecom company with all the long-distance calls made to my friends abroad the past few days, asking for their advice, catching up with each other, telling them the news, and saying goodbye for now, but see you soon...

So why did I quit, given the reasons above? Did I just seal my candidacy for the most stupid and irrational 23-year old girl alive for leaving this great thing? Possibly.

Those who know me for a long time know me as a planner - sometimes an obsessive one at that. They were quite surprised when I told them of my decision, and labeled it as "the shock of the month" that I was deviating from the carefully laid out and in all modesty, terrific plan I made one year ago.

But there was always this nagging feeling, you know? That I wanted to do something else, even though I was already fine where I was. Chalk it up to an Atenean's desire for Magis, my fanciful childhood dreams of writing, teaching, or opening up an ice cream business, and the great support and advice of family and close friends, and I finally found the strength to give Daddy Jesper and Tito Martin my resignation letter, sealing the deal that I was to trade this nice, safe bag of goodies for whatever is behind mystery door number 1.

It wasn't easy, and I don't think it will ever be easy. I know that there will be moments that I will be quesitoning and perhaps even regretting my decision - the days that Inca will come back from Module 3 and 4, telling me stories of meeting my old friends and making new ones, SEA graduation, or when I get mails from friends telling me where they'll be expatting to, I think that's when I'm going to question myself, and I don't think I can fully prepare myself for it.

Taking that amazing vessel tour from Yokohama to Shanghai gave me a lot of time to think (and have marathon sessions of Grey's Anatomy too haha) - of whether the shipping business is where I want to be today, tomorrow, a month from now, and years from now,  and I think that I could have become a good manager at Maersk, but my heart wouldn't be into it.

I realized a long time ago that life is short, and there's a line in Transformers about growing old with regret, and I don't want to regret not getting on my Bumblebee. I don't know that the future holds for me, but I want to change my world and seek self-actualization and happiness  (two heavy words which I have no concrete definition for), and I think that now is the right time to do it.

It may be more difficult than Harry hunting down Horcruxes, and I still harbor fear and doubt, but I'm hopeful.

Wish me luck.